Freedom Through Surrender
©
We have in
Saint Mary Magdalen a true model of repentance. She remained mute at Jesus'
feet, to show us that not words, but the deep emotions of the heart have value in
repentance. She was at the feet of Jesus, to teach that repentance should be
sanctified by humility. She bathed His feet with tears, anointed them with
perfumes, and dried them with her hair, to show that we must sacrifice to
repentance all that has been a cause of sin to us.
GUIDE FOR A GOOD
CONFESSION.
“To those who have
been far away from the sacrament of Reconciliation and forgiving love, I make
this appeal: Come back to this source of grace; do not be afraid! Christ himself
is waiting for you. He will heal you; arid you will be at peace with God!"
(Homily of pope
John Paul II on September 13, 1987, at Westover Hills, San Antonio, Texas).
The basic requirement for a good Confession is to have the intention of
returning to God like the Prodigal son and of acknowledging our sins with
true sorrow before his representative, the priest.
Examination of Conscience
Examine your
conscience.
Recall your sins.
Calmly ask yourself what you have done with full knowledge and full consent
against God's Commandments.
THE FIRST
COMMANDMENT
-
Have I
performed my duties toward God reluctantly or grudgingly?
-
Did I neglect
my prayer life? Did I recite my usual prayers?
-
Did I receive
holy Communion in the state of mortal sin or without the necessary
preparation?
-
Did I violate
the one-hour Eucharistic fast?
-
Did I fail to
mention some grave sin in my previous confessions?
-
Did I
seriously believe in something superstitious or engage in a superstitious
practice (palm-reading or fortune telling for instance)?
-
Did I
seriously doubt a matter of Faith?
-
Did I put my
faith in danger without a good reason-by reading a book, pamphlet, or
magazine that contains material contrary to Catholic faith or morals?
-
Did I endanger
my faith by joining or attending meetings of organizations opposed to the
Catholic faith (non-Catholic services, Freemasonry, "new age" cults, or
other religions)? Did I take part in one of its activities?
-
Have I
committed the sin of sacrilege (profanation of a sacred person, place
or thing)?
THE SECOND
COMMANDMENT
-
Did I fail to
try my best to fulfill the promises and resolutions that I made to God?
-
Did I take the
name of God in vain? Did I make use of God's name mockingly, jokingly,
angrily, or in any other irreverent manner?
-
Did I make use of the Blessed Virgin Mary's name or another
saint's name mockingly, jokingly, angrily, or in any other irreverent manner?
-
Have I been a
sponsor in Baptism or participate actively in other ceremonies outside the
Catholic Church?
-
Did I tell a
lie under oath?
-
Did I break
(private or public) vows?
THE THIRD COMMANDMENT
-
Did I miss
Mass on a Sunday or a holy day of' obligation?
-
Did I fail to
dress appropriately for Mass?
-
Have I without
sufficient reason, arrived at Mass so late that I failed to fulfill the
Sunday or holy Day of obligation?
-
Did I allow
myself to be distracted during Mass, by not paying attention, looking around
out of curiosity, etc.?
-
Did I cause
others to be distracted?
-
Have I
performed any work or business activity that would inhibit the worship due
to God, the joy proper to the Lord's Day, or the appropriate relaxation of
mind and body, on a Sunday or a holy day of obligation?
-
Did I fail to
help the Church in her necessities to the extent that I am able?
-
Did I fail to
fast or abstain on a day prescribed by the Church?
THE FOURTH
COMMANDMENT
(FOR PARENTS)
-
Have I
neglected to teach my children their prayers, send them to church, or give
them a Christian education?
-
Have I given
them bad example?
-
Have I
neglected to watch over my children, to monitor their companions, the books
they read, the movies and TV shows they watch?
-
Have
I
failed to see
to it that my child made the First Confession and First Communion?
-
Have I failed
to see to it that my children have received the sacrament of Confirmation?
(FOR CHILDREN)
-
Was I
disobedient toward my parents?
-
Did I neglect
to help my parents when my help was needed?
-
Did I treat my
parents with little affection or respect?
-
Did I react
proudly when my parents corrected me?
-
Did I have a
disordered desire for independence?
-
Did I do my
chores?
THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT
-
Did I easily
get angry or lose my temper?
-
Was I envious
or jealous of others?
-
Did I injure
or take the life of anyone? Was ever reckless in driving?
-
Was I an
occasion of sin for others by way of conversation, the telling of
jokes religiously, racially, or sexually offensive, my way of
dressing, inviting somebody to attend certain shows, lending harmful books
or magazines, helping someone to steal. Etc? Did I try to repair the scandal
done? .
-
How many
persons did I lead to sin? What sin or sins were involved?
-
Did I neglect
my heath? Did I attempt to take my life?
-
Have I
mutilated another or myself?
-
Did I get
drunk or use prohibited drugs?
-
Did I eat or
drink more than a sufficient amount, allowing myself to get carried away by
gluttony?
-
Did I
participate in any form of physical violence?
-
Did I consent
to or actively take part in direct sterilization (tubal ligation, vasectomy,
etc.)? Do I realize that this will have a permanent effect on my married
life and that I will have to answer to God for its consequences?
-
Did I consent
to, advise, or actively take part in an abortion? Was I aware that the
Church punishes with automatic excommunication (latae sententiae)
those who procure and achieve abortion? Do I realize that this is a
very grave crime?
-
Did I cause
harm to anyone with my words or actions?
-
Did I desire
revenge or harbor enmity, hatred, or ill feelings when someone offended me?
-
Did I ask
pardon whenever I offended anyone?
-
Did I insult
or offensively tease others?
-
Did I quarrel
with one of my brothers or sisters?
THE SIXTH AND
NINTH COMMANDMENTS
-
Did I
willfully entertain impure thoughts?
-
Did I consent
to evil desires against the virtue of purity, even though I may not have
carried them out? Were there any circumstances that aggravated the sin:
affinity (relationship by marriage), consanguinity (blood relationship),
either the married state or the consecration to God of a person involved?
-
Did I engage
in impure conversations? Did I start them?
-
Did I look for
fun in forms of entertainment that placed me in proximate occasions of sin,
such as certain dances, movies, shows, or books with immoral contents? Did I
frequent houses of ill repute or keep bad company?
-
Did I realize
that I might already have been committing a sin by placing myself in a
proximate occasion of sin, such as sharing a room with a person I find
sexually attractive, or being alone with such a person in circumstances that
could lead to sin?
-
Did I fail to
take care of those details of modesty and decency that are the safeguards of
purity?
-
Did I fail,
before going to a show or reading a book, to find out its moral
implications, so as not to put myself in immediate danger of sinning and in
order to avoid distorting my conscience?
-
Did I
willfully look at an indecent picture or cast an immodest look upon another
or myself? Did I willfully desire to commit such a sin?
-
Did I lead
others to sins of impurity or immodesty? What sins?
-
Did I commit
an impure act? By myself, through masturbation (which is objectively a
mortal sin)? With someone else? How many times? With someone of the same or
opposite sex? Was there any circumstance of relationship {such as affinity)
that could have given the sin special gravity? Did this illicit relationship
result in pregnancy? Did I do anything to prevent or end that pregnancy?
-
Do I have
friendships that are habitual occasions of sexual sins? Am I prepared to end
them?
-
In courtship,
is true love my fundamental reason for wanting to be with the other person?
Do I live the constant and cheerful sacrifice of not putting the person I
love in danger of sinning? Do I degrade human love by confusing it with
selfishness or mere pleasure?
-
Did I engage
in acts such as "petting," "necking," passionate kisses, or prolonged
embraces?
(FOR MARRIED
PEOPLE)
-
Did
I, without serious reason deprive my spouse of the marital right? Did I claim my
own rights in a way, which showed no concern for my spouse's state of mind or
health? Did I betray conjugal fidelity in desire or in deed?
-
Did I take
"the pill" or use any other artificial birth control device before or after
new life had already been conceived?
-
Did I without
grave reason, with the intention of avoiding conception, make use of
marriage on only those days when offspring would not likely be engendered?"
-
Did I suggest
to another person the use of birth-control pills or another artificial'
method of preventing pregnancy (like condoms)?
-
Did I have a
hand in contributing to the contraceptive mentality by my advice,
jokes, or attitudes? (On abortion, contraception, sterilization, etc., see
also THE
FIFTH COMMANDMENT).
THE SEVENTH AND
TENTH COMMANDMENTS
-
Did I steal?
How much money? Or how much was the object worth? Did I give it back, or at
least have the intention of doing so? . Have I done or caused damage to
another person's property? To what extent?
-
Did I harm
anyone by deception, fraud, or coercion in business contracts or
transactions?
-
Did I
unnecessarily spend beyond my means? Do I spend too much money because of
vanity or caprice? .
-
Do I give alms
according to my capacity'?
-
Was I envious
of my neighbor's goods?
-
Did I neglect
to pay my debts?
-
Did I
knowingly accept stolen goods?
-
Did I desire
to steal?
-
Did I give in
to laziness or love of comfort rather than diligently work or study?
-
Was I greedy?
Do I have an excessively materialistic view of life?
THE EIGHTH
COMMANDMENT
-
Did I tell
lies? Did I repair any damage that may have resulted as a consequence of
this?
-
Have I
unjustly or rashly accused others?
-
Did I sin by
detraction, that is, by telling the faults of another person without
necessity?
-
Did I sin by
calumny, that is, by telling derogatory lies about another person?
-
Did I engage
in gossip, backbiting, or tale telling?
-
Did I reveal a
secret without due cause?
Shorter Examination of Conscience
-
When was my
last good confession? Did I receive Communion or other sacraments while in
the state of mortal sin? Did I intentionally fail to confess some mortal sin
in my previous confession?
-
Did I
willfully and seriously doubt my faith or put myself in danger of losing it
by reading literature hostile to Catholic teachings or by getting involved
with non-Catholic sects? Did I engage in superstitious activities: palm
reading, fortune telling?
-
Did I take the
name of God in vain? Did I curse or take a false oath? Did I use bad
language?
-
Did I miss
Mass on a Sunday or a holy" day of obligation through my own fault, without
any serious reason? Did fast and abstain on the prescribed days?
-
Did I disobey
my parents or lawful superiors in important matters? .
-
Was I selfish
in how I treated others especially my spouse, my brothers and sisters, my
relatives, or my friends?Did I hatefully quarrel with anyone, or desire
revenge? Did I refuse to forgive? Did I cause physical injury or even death?
Did I get drunk? Did I take illicit drugs? Did I consent to, advise, or
actively take part in an abortion?
-
Did I willfully
look at indecent pictures or watch immoral movies? Did I read immora1 books
or magazines?
-
Did I engage in
impure jokes or conversations? Did I willfully entertain impure thoughts or
feelings? Did I commit impure acts, alone or with others? Did I take
contraceptive or abortifacient pills, or use other artificial means
in order to prevent conception?
-
Did I steal or damage another's property? How much? Have I made
reparation for the damages done? Have I been honest in my business relations?
-
Did I tell
lies? Did I sin by slander? By detraction - telling unknown grave faults of
others without necessity? Did I judge others rashly in serious matters? Have
I tried to make restitution for any dam age of reputation that I have
caused? .
-
If you
remember other serious sins besides those indicated here, include them also
in your Confession:
Before Confession
Be truly sorry for
your sins.
The essential act of Penance, on the part of the penitent, is contrition, a
clear and decisive rejection of the sin committed, together with a resolution
not to commit it again, out of the love one has for God (which is reborn with
repentance). Understood in this way, contrition is, therefore, the
beginning and the heart of conversion, of that evangelical metanoia which
brings the person back to God like the Prodigal Son returning to his father, and
which has in the sacrament of Penance Its visible sign, and which perfects
attrition (imperfect contrition – born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or
the fear of eternal damnation and other penalties threatening the sinner)
[Cf. John Paul II,
Apostolic Exhortation Reconciliatio of Paenitentia, 31, 1983.; cf. CCC,
1453].
The resolution to avoid committing these sins in the future (amendment) is a
sure sign that your sorrow is genuine and authentic.
This does not mean that one has to promise never to fall again into sin. A
resolution to try to avoid the near occasions of sin suffices for true
repentance. God's grace in cooperation with the intention to rectify your life
will give you the strength to resist and overcome temptation in the future.
Act of Contrition
0 my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my
sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all
because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do
penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
During Confession
-
You can begin
your confession by making the Sign of the Cross and greeting the priest:
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
-
The priest
gives you a blessing. One response you might give is these words St. Peter
said to Christ: “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love
you" (Jn 21:17). One then continues with the time since one’s last
confession: "My last good confession was... (approximately how many
weeks, months or years)."
-
Say the sins
that you remember.
Start with the
one that is most difficult to say; after this it will be easier to mention
the rest. If you received general absolution, tell this to the priest and
mention the sins forgiven then.
-
If you do not
know how to confess or you feel uneasy or ashamed, simply ask the priest to
assist you, be assured that he will help you to make a good confession.
Simply answer his questions without hiding anything out of shame or fear.
Place your trust in God: he is your merciful Father
and wants to forgive you.
-
If you do not
remember any serious sins, be sure to confess at least some of your venial
sins, adding at the end: “I am sorry for these and all the sins of my
past life, especially for … (mention in general any past sin for which
you are particularly sorry; for example, all my sins against charity).”
-
The priest
will assign you some penance and give you some advice to help you to be a
better Christian.
-
Listen to the
words of absolution attentively. At the end answer: “Amen.” Be willing to do
the penance as soon as possible. This penance will diminish the temporal
punishment due to sins already forgiven.
After Confession
-
Give thanks
to
God for having forgiven you once again.
-
Promptly and
devoutly fulfill the penance given by the priest. Although you may
receive holy Communion even before performing your penance, it is advisable
to do it as soon as possible.
-
If you
recall some
serious sin
that you
forgot to tell, rest assured that it has been forgiven with the others, but
be sure to include it in your next Confession.
Rite of Confession
After the
customary greetings, the penitent crosses himself:
In the name
of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
The priest
urges the penitent to have confidence in God. The priest may say:
May the Lord
be in your heart and help you to confess your sins with true sorrow.
Either the
priest or the penitent may read or say by heart some words taken from the
holy Scripture about the mercy of God and repentance, e.g.:
"Lord, you
know all things; you know that I love you (John 21:17),"
The penitent
accuses himself of his sins. The priest gives opportune advice, imposes the
penance on him, and invites the penitent to manifest his contrition. The
penitent may say, for example:
Lord Jesus,
Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
The priest
gives him the absolution: God, the Father of mercies, through the death and
resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the
Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of
the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your
sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
The penitent
answers: Amen The priest dismisses the penitent with this or any of
the alternative formula:
May the
Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the intercession of the Blessed Virgin
Mary and of all the saints, whatever good you do and suffering you endure
heal your sins, help you to grow in holiness, and reward you with eternal
life. Go in peace.
The penitent
should fulfill the penance imposed.
Source:
Handbook of Prayers. Rev. James Socias, General Editor. Scepter Press and
Midwest Theological Forum. Used with permission.
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